Down in the Groove (1988)

DOWN IN THE GROOVE

(1988, Columbia Records)

MY DINNER

(2 BEYOND MEAT "sausages, one Italian style w/ peppers and onions. The other, onions w/ spicy mustard)

It has come to the portion of Dinner With Dylan where I have gone insane. I have forgotten what I like about Bob Dylan, and find myself a shell of man. A shell, that has lost its nuts. Maybe, I'm just NUTS?  Can I go on to yet another '80s Dylan record, and manage to sit here, critically listening, while shoving food in my mouth? The answer, of course, is YES!  But, before I reach any beacon of hope with '90s Dylan,


(aka, Bobby Grunge)


 ... I must first make it through these nutty albums, as I sink deeper into the nut pit.  BUT, luckily, judging by the line-up card of rich and varied musical contributing to Dylan's uuuuhhhhforgettable 25th LP, we should be in for a fever dream of a real rock treat. So, all you rock n roll nut heads out there, WHAT DO YOU SAY?!!!.  ARE YOU READY TO ROCK!!!


("I can't hear you in the back!"- Dylan and fans, circa '88)

No, rock fans!  I'm talkin' bout the ones who can't get enough of that sweet sweet rock n roll, the ones who follow the lineage down the line! I'm waxin' philo(dough)sophical 'bout the ones who've gotta crack a Griel Marcus, or a Lester Bangs compendium, even when they're sitting on the john, cause they can't get enough of the ROCK facts.  I'm talkin' to you, the ones goin' through the liner notes with a fine-toothed guitar pick, soakin' up knowledge like sweat into Dave Mustaine's wristband.


(your brain on rock knowledge is the sweat soaking into Dave Mustaine's wristband)

Well, if you've answered "YES," then let me sign you up for Bob Dylan's Down in the Groove. After many years of Dylan being religious, confusing, obnoxious, unlistenable, laughable, indecisive, complacent, and all-of-the-above, we have reached another dead end in the seemingly never-ending Dylan pantheon of dead end records. What makes this one so strange, rock fans who seek the knowledge? Well, for starters, this album features appearances by... um, EVERYONE.


ROLL CALL:  For you Dead Head's, on this album we got Jerry Garcia, and guitarist Bob Weir. For you '70s Brit-punk fans, Paul Simonon of The Clash AND Steve Jones from Sex Pistols. Can't get enough of '80s Rolling Stones? No problem, because this album's got Ronnie Wood, formerly of The Faces. How 'bout tryin' to move those refrigerators and installing your microwave ovens? Well, Dire Straits' Mark Knopfler is BACK in the house... Not to mention about 547 other musicians from around the world of recorded music, including Randy Jackson who would later become a household name with American Idol.  So what's it all add up to?


(Ariel view of the Down In The Groove listening party, Columbia Records HQ)

Okay, that's not entirely true. I want to go on record as being one of the few in defense of Down in the Groove. It's generally thought to be one of Dylan's most lifeless records, the practical bottom of the barrel. Even Dylan himself has since admitted he was flat out lost during this time. However, when held against is other work of the era, and leading 10 years back, it's so weird it kind of works, if only in spots! This pile of nonsense is half stuffed with beer-soaked blues rockers, and half bloated with odd arrangements and song choices. Call it the shorter, poor man's Self Portrait, Down in the Groove is, arguably worth another examination. Or perhaps, NOT AT ALL!

Understanding the recording history of this album is about as easy as hanging a calendar on a cheetah's ass, and then trying to hit it with a dart while blindfolded. The whole mess is compiled from 6 years of various recording sessions. Disturbing fact; No 2 songs on this LP are from the same session!


(Columbia Records exec attending one of 7000 recording sessions for Down In the Groove)


So what does it all mean? Well, just like 1986's Knocked Out Loaded, this is a craptastic album that most people chose to ignore!

Before I take in a spin of said craptastic record, let's touch on my dinner. Tonight, I have secured myself a package of the illusive hot Italian Beyond Sausage from the Beyond Meat company. These sausages, since hitting the market, are like the Tickle-Me-Elmos of the Vegetarian world. Stores can't keep them on the shelves! Luckily, I snagged a pack at my local Whole Foods, and am BEYOND excited to get started on these puppies (Beyond Meat, email me on where you can send the check). I couldn't decide on a Italian style faux sausage with peppers and onions, or one topped with sautéed onions and spicy brown mustard.  So, like any overweight vegetarian who eats only pasta, I made both!

Before we get into things, let's follow tradition and speak of the album cover. Here we see Dylan on a chair, under stage lights, the whole damn thing out of focus. Yeah, the cover is about as exciting as the record sounds. Blurred, dark, crummy, and destined for the dollar bin. Too bad Columbia didn't take a chance on the cover I made 30 years later for this blog...







Oh what could've been (Columbia, email me for where you can send the check. You're welcome).

Without any further bitching and moaning about '80s Dylan, let's do this dinner!

SIDE A:
Let's Stick Together- 2 Dylan knows how to get a party started don't he? Book studio time, throw some musicians in a room, and pull out a classic blues song originally by Wilbert Harrison.

(Wilbert Harrison, in the flesh, posing next to a big arrow)

Here, Dylan achieves some real lowbrow rock sleaze, but for the first time since Infidels, the recording finally sounds halfway decent (although completely dated). This is a cool tune for line-dancing if you've got a bad attitude and pair of sunglasses, or if you wanna fight someone while feeling you were like on an early episode of Roseanne.

(An example of someone who might like the rockin' power of "Let's Stick Together")

When Did You Leave Heaven?- 5 Whether or not you eat meat, do yourself a favor and get your hands on these Beyond Sausages made by the Beyond Meat company. There's an F'n reason they are flying off the shelves. I pan fried these bad boys, leaving them on longer than suggested for an extra snap to the "skin." You literally can't tell the difference!!! TRY THEM...  So far I have taken one bit of the "German" style one I made, with onion and mustard. I've died and gone to heaven. Must pace myself before I devour the whole dang thing in mere seconds.

(For reference.... please make all checks payable to Dinner with Dylan)

Speaking of which, I must've died, or at least lost my mind. I'm loving this song! Perhaps one of the strangest elements in John Hughes' late '80s movies (i.e. Planes Trains and Automobiles) is his baffling use of horrendous incidental music he laces through his entire film catalog. With that said, this one feels like the one that got away from the Hughes vaults. However, I WILL contest this is so strange, oddly produced, clunky, and practically lo-fi, I love it. It's also oddly catchy and heartbreaking, and all at 2 minutes.

Sally Sue Brown- 1 Okay, I may have just lost my mind giving that hunk of shit track a perfect score but damn it's been so many dinners with this Dylan fool since I've felt something! I mean any emotion. Usually it's just been hatred over the sound of the drums! All it took was a drum machine, an inability to play guitar, and a coy melody. Perfect. Anyway, back to reality. This is a crummy, short blues rocker full of baritone crooning backups, and a boogie feel that makes me wanna vom.

I'm working my way through this Beyond Sausage... Taking one bite and pacing is nearly impossible with these delicious, GREASY things. Another Dinner With Dylan plagued by greasier than normal keyboard conditions. Yowza!

(on the set of Dinner With Dylan)

Death is Not the End- 4 Four tracks in and we finally get the first Dylan original. This one's a slow sad throwback to the days when Dylan was young and sad, rather than sadly old. Slowly, I feel the power of this one creeping in, Dylan singing in a hushed monotone style over this honky-tonk balladry. Pianos twinkle, guitars fizzle in and out. It's all rather beautiful and somewhat arresting.

Had a Bad Dream About You, Baby- 2 Well, one mock sausage down... one to go. And perfect timing as we hit the end of Side A.  This is one of those foods where you get to look forward to your burps afterward. I believe that should be an selling point. Hey, BEYOND MEAT, add that to your packaging (email me for where you can send the check).

Here, Dylan is returns with more spine tingling, bone chilling white boy, coma inducing blues. It's so lifeless from the jump. There's something lurking in the chorus that's almost worthy of a thumbs up but primarily this short burst is a overproduced blue rocker with no breaks on hilly road full of wide turns. It's best suited for the opening credits of My Cousin Vinny 2 or the like. Icky and dated.


SIDE B:
Ugliest Girl in the World- 2 Well this title is not very nice at all. Shameful. But hey, I guess someone in the world has to be the ugliest. Speaking of ugly, this song is pretty fugly itself. It's a scummier version of the last song, but with that Shell Silverstein tongue-in-cheek type sensibility. Co-written with Robert Hunter (the bald Dad looking guy who wrote all the Grateful Dead lyrics), this one goes nowhere fast. Some soulful female backups and a short harmonica rip are in there for good measure, but the whole thing stinks like a sweaty '80s workout bench.

(Dylan and his back-up band, throughout most of the '80s, sources say)

Silvio- 2 Alright folks. I am into my second sausage sandwich, this one dripping with marinara sauce, and oozing with sautéed pepper and onions. Time to turn my keyboard into a massacre!  Oh Jesus, I just took on bite and half the thing fell apart. But that's the price to pay for indulging in something so delicious! This is gonna be a quick eat.

Another collaboration with Robert Hunter, this tracks a bouncy, almost playful ditty. There's some mandolin chiming away in the back along with odd plucking and gang vocals keeping this whole thing light on its toes. Unfortunately, it's lame. However, it's another welcome change of pace even if it's feels soulless. Sometimes it's fun to watch the boat sink.

Ninety Miles an Hour (Down a Dead End Street)- 4 Just as suspected, I have savagely devoured the rest of my sausage sandwich. Now I'm all alone, awaiting my gassy fate. A sad man, with saucy hands.

(Me just trying to finish this review)

Like "When Did You Leave Heaven?" this is another patched together track, but sans the otherworldly drum machine of the aforementioned. Dylan delivers a solid Gospel cover of Nashville legend, Don Robertson's tune. Baritone "hums" swoop about, the guitars sounds lost, the piano noodles and pops around. Vocal wise, it feels like Dylan actually gives a shit on it, and the whole thing is catchy as Beyond Sausage burps are infectious.

Shenandoah- 3 Dylan tackles the CLASSIC American folk song. Renditions of this song have been performed by over 600 million people over the course of forever, so it's cool Dylan finally took a stab at it. Just what the world needs! Right? Right?

(an example of something else the world doesn't really need) 

Dylan gives a rather lazy vocal showing, and the instruments are all over the place, but it all kind of works. Nothing to write home about but a sturdy leg to hold up the later half of this odd album.

Rank Strangers to Me- 3 Real bare-bones Dylan closes out this strange, lopsided smattering of leftover ideas that is Down In the Groove. This closer might be the bad hangover at the end of the decade of big hair had finally cause Dylan to throw in the towel of being so mediocre. A real lowly cover, it sounds like the way the album cover looks. Kind of a whole lot of nothing, but while saying something at the same time. What that something is? Who cares. The album is over. Another '80s Dylan bites the dust.


WELL, that's another meal down in the gut. No, the groove? Oh well. For those who have stuck by me through this culinary journey, we are just about surface through the muck we've been in since the post Blood on the Tracks Dylan. There's hope, and it's on the way. Oh shit, I just remembered Under Red Sky. 

("Who can forget that one?"- Bob Dylan, talking to his favorite hat)

Anyway, join me next time as I look into Bob Dylan's COMEBACK album, the 48th "comeback" record of his career. You know, the one that everyone loved at first because it was less shitty than the shittiest shit that Dylan had been shitting, and then eventually decided "ehh, it's pretty shitty", causing Columbia to slap more of these things on the leftover copies...

YES, I'm talking about 1989's, Daniel Lanois' produced, Oh Mercy.  STAY TUNED!!!