Under the Red Sky (1990)

UNDER THE RED SKY

(1990, Columbia Records)

MY DINNER


(Radiatore pasta with white clam and mushroom sauce, accented with garlic bread) 

Hello everyone! Welcome back to another edition of Dinner With Dylan. Welcome our central character, one Mr. Robert "Bob Dylan" Zimmerman back as our central character. The last time we saw Robert, he was posing as Bayou Zimmy, smack dab in the midst of righting his wrongs down in the swamps of New Orleans with producer, Daniel Lanois. Yes, Oh Mercy was a minor success in his discography, as well as fan hearts. So, as a follow-up, Dylan went and did what anyone would do; took a hard piss into a strong gust of wind and called it a record!


(original LP cover for Under the Red Sky?)

So Bayou Zim, where are we at here in you're crazy career? This is a newer Dylan record I guess, being that it only came out 28 years ago! JEEEEEESUS. Where does the time go?  I don't know, ask my man, Stephen!


("Time is blowin' in the wind. Case closed"- Stephen Hawking, a big Dylan fan)

This is Dylan's first record in the good ol' 90s, and number 27 total! Welcome to the 27 club, Bob. You're not dead yet! A decade that welcomed Toad the Wet Sprocket and Hootie, and also.... BOB DYLAN! Yes, the 90s would be Dylan's triumphant rebuild, reshape, and ultimate return to critical acclaim, accolades, and triumphs.... but not on this record. No, after the success of Oh Mercy, the follow-up was destined for the Nice Price bin nearly upon release.


(the sticker often found on Dylan CDs a week after they came out in the 80s and early 90s)

All of the nuance, ambiance, bayou charm, and poetic waxing that Dylan laid down on his comeback a year before is  nowhere to be found here. On this, Dylan's basically throwing in the fucking towel, one track at a time. I mean, look at the Reeboks he's wearing on the back cover! He's not even trying!!! This might have been taken that time he got arrested for sitting outside of a house in the rain while telling the cops he was looking for Bruce Springsteen's house.


(yeah, this is a true story)


(evidence: Bob Dylan looking like he might want to get arrested on the back of Under Red Sky)


Hooking up with producer Don Was (hot off his smash with B52's Cosmic Thing, and a year before Elton John's To Be Continued), Dylan could not tap into that Lanois' assisted magic of a year ago. Some critics and fans liken the sound of this record to adopting elements of the emerging "grunge" sound at the time. Now, I was 5 at the time of this record, and during the initial Seattle grunge boom. BUT, I do know THIS IS NOT A GRUNGE RECORD.  No, this record is more known for its nursery rhyme qualities, if anything else. I'm not kidding. This is Dylan by way of Mother Goose. In fact, we shall, from here on out, refer to our songsmith as Mother Zim.


(Grunge Mother Goose)

On to my dinner. Tonight, boy, I've really gone done and fucked up whatever vision was in my head (much like Dylan during the recording of Under the Red Sky. Hey, it's hard being a genius, right Bobby?). As you can see from the picture, this is one lifeless glob of crap. Hopefully, it'll taste out-of-this-world, because I have a whole pot full of it on the stove for seconds, thirds, and then the birds! Come to think of it, that's a great nursery rhyme Mother Zim could have used for this record! Anyway, my dinner is radiatore pasta noodles with white clam sauce and mushroom. Radiatore is pasta that looks like mini radiators but do not give off heat (it is pasta). I mixed some white clam sauce with fresh mushrooms, and added some fresh Pecorino Romano cheese for added thickness and zest. I put two pieces of garlic bread on the edge of the plate to make it look picture perfect. Instead, I'm afraid it looks more like an ass pimple than a gourmet meal.

Lastly, let's discuss the album cover. I have no qualms with it. It's not great. It just sort of exists. Dylan squats, in the desert. Ready to relive himself? Ready to stand up and venture on? Either way, this all certainly seems oddly familiar.




OH YEAH! Bob's friend "It's Always Sunny" Bono had a similarly titled record, and squatted in the left-hand corner some 7 years earlier!

What does it all mean? Who knows? The world is a weird place, but at least we have Bob Dylan records to listen to, and food to eat.... for now!   Bon appetit, and bon voyage! (aka, kiss your ass (pimple) goodbye).

SIDE A:

Wiggle Wiggle- 2 Perhaps one of the Literary Nobel Prize winner's most infamous songs, this opener is a bunch of childish mishmash word soup. Supposedly written for his daughter, Gabby Goo Goo (seriously, the LP is dedicated to her... some say it's his granddaughter, Gabby.) May this be the contender for weirdest Bob Dylan song? This is up there with those unreleased Van Morrison contractual obligation songs like "Ring Worm." Just grab the lyrics sheet, and boogie down to this slick white boy blues romp. Vocally, Dylan sounds pretty freakin' cool. Raw. Smoked out. The perfect recipe for entertaining a child. A song you love to hate, and hate to love.

(President Obama giving Bob Dylan a medal for writing "Wiggle Wiggle")

Under the Red Sky- 2 Before we venture on, lets discuss the dinner. I have prepared myself some classic white clam sauce (from the can, baby!), and added some fresh mushrooms. I also added some Pecorino cheese to the mix. Well, this cheese has acted as quite the thickening agent (as science will tell you), and now this sauce is kind of a brown gravy mess. Hmm... what have I done here?  Speaking of "what have I done?!!!?"

Two songs in and already we come toe to toe with the title track. Dylan tells a tale over what sounds like over-produced Karaoke background music. Woof, this production!

(session photos from "Under the Red Sky")

How many times has Dylan spit the bit with  production since Street Legal? Damn, every record but Oh Mercy, it seems. The accordion backbone of this tune kind of rules though. Subtle but effective. This falls into more of the "nursery rhyme" category. It's not a bad song, but comes off as a glob of gunk.

Speaking of gunk... this sauce, I done gone and fucked up. If there's one thing you don't need to add to white clam sauce, it's ANYTHING AT ALL. Just leave it be. Maybe some salt? Added garlic? A little cheese? Now the mushrooms are tasty, but essentially I'm eating a mushroom sauce that I managed to make 83% more fatty from all of this oily clam sauce. Nice job, asshole (I type to me in the past, when I thought I was some wizard chef).

(What I though I was)

(what I actually am)

Unbelievable- 2 ....is what Dylan said when he heard the final cut of this LP. That's not entirely in jest. Apparently Dylan has spoken out against this record. "Yeah this record blows, and I don't know what the hell happened." That's called paraphrasing with quotes, so don't sue me Mother Zim. This is a glittery, roadhouse rockin' track. A little spring in the musician's step on this one. Still, it mostly sounds the way Bill Murray looks in Groundhog Day while playing piano. 

(B. Murray playing forced to listen to Under the Red Sky every day of his life, over and over again)

Born in Time- 3 Guys and gals, I'm just gonna have to make peace with my thick sauce. Next time, I'd be happy to just make a light cream sauce with the mushrooms, rather than this oiled-up cheesy mess. I can feel my arteries clogging up. I should have just swallowed a bottle of Elmer's glue, chased it with some mushrooms, and called it a day!

                      

(sums up my feelings... also this is not me)

Anyways, this song is a cool, weepier piano lead track, managing to be the least tackiest thing so far on the record. And boy is it tacky! If it weren't for that oogly percussion, and the dated, reverb guitar solo bridge, this might be more passable. Again, Dylan continues to hate percussion. Essentially, this is a perfectly well written ballad, Dylan emoting cooly and confidently. For fans of... I don't know, Billy Joel?

(Very aggressive songwriter, Billy Joel)

T.V. Talkin' Song- 2 If you missed the gross, soulless boogie while Dylan caught his breath on "Born in Time," then don't worry. This is your chance to get down and dirtier again. Too bad Mark Knopfler isn't on this, because he could have just as well put this on a Dire Straits record himself. Dylan's in middle age protest mode here, but it comes off so soulless, heartless, spineless, and any other missing body related areas you can think of. I can hang with this, but just barely.

SIDE B:

10,000 Men- 3 You know, one thing I haven't talked about, as I go in for my second dish of this thick clam sauce, is my choice of pasta. I love the radiatore style noodles, but mostly for summer salads. I do enjoy with some marinara or what not, but it's tough on this sauce. Basically, I have a plate of mini radiators, that somehow don't manage to hold onto this thick ass sauce. Oh well. Better luck next time.

(Radiatore pasta looks like this, but is made with dough instead of metal so people can chew it)

OK, the title of this humdinger seems to refer to how many people were involved in screwing up this record. By the time you factor in studio musicians, assistant tape operators, the catering company, that college intern from Columbia just sitting in for credit, and the guys who helped get this into a jewel case, you're talking one big screw up. Actually, this song's not half bad. A mid-tempo grooving blues track that's "good" by default. The most organic track of the bunch. 

2 X 2- 2  I added the extra 2 after the title, not just for effect, but because this song stinks. This is a nursery rhyme song in the sense that Mother Zim helps us all to better our counting skills. He starts with 1 by 1, and ends with 10 by 10. If you're not a carpenter like Jesus, and didn't know what that X in the title meant, yes it means "by." At any rate, this is a nice breezy little piece held together with that simplistic one note bass grove throughout most of it. Should it be revisited? Not when the man has 34 albums to listen to!

Here's some examples of NUMBERS, but in cake form.

(the original, and loneliest of numbers)

(another classic)

(that's a weird one)

(an action packed number)

(DAMN Grandma! You made it!)

(Tricked you! Those are "letters" and not numbers)

God Knows- 3 For all fans of Dylan's born again phase, you'd be sourly disappointed to hear this is not a return to the gospel rock format. Dylan uses "God" in this more like "God, why did we record this album?" or "God damn, what were we thinking?" When faced with this, and The Beach Boys "God Only Knows," you gotta go with Brian "where is my mind?" Wilson. BUT, if it's any consolation, this might be the best song on the whole record. This is really a dart throwing scenario. Toss it at all the titles and see where it lands, and you'll be like "yeah, I can live with that."

Oh brother, my meal is done. And guess what? I'm not satisfied.  Hey, I also realized I didn't talk about the garlic bread? Ehhh, it was bready and it had garlic on it. Big whoop!  Better luck next time (a reminder to my future self!)

(Future ME, when I grow gigantic and triumph over wimpy, poorly constructed meals)

Handy Dandy- 3 Oh wait. This is the best song on the record! How could I forget about "Handy Dandy?" Very easily. It's easy to forget about all these songs 12 seconds after they end. This is another of Mother Zim's NRs (Duluth slang for "nursery rhymes"). Essentially, it's "Louie Louie" played as a slow grove in which Zimmy repeats the line "handy dandy" between 68 and 4,000 times. This song is oh-so annoying, but I'll be damned if I won't be whistling it for a full 30 seconds after the album is over.  

Cat's In the Well- 3  Totally standard 12 bar blues rock slop here. Again, the accordion freaking rules. You know what else rules? The chorus! It shows a slight pulse, actual emotion, and is empowering. Also, it manages a hook for about 12 seconds. Then it's back to more childish rock boogie. So strange, I think I'm in love! With an album so ho-hum, oddly balanced, this send off feels like walking off the field to "We Are the Champions." Now, time for this champ to clean off his dinner plate.

(Under the Red Sky; a great nursery rhyme album for kids to wash dishes to)

Thanks for taking that trip with Mother Zim and his grungy nursery book full of "wiggly" things and a feline who hangs out in the bottom of a well. God Knows, what happened with this one, but things will get better from here. They have to, right? 

(Just leaving this classic HANG IN THERE picture for you right here)

Next time, I tackle Good As I Been To You, Dylan's minimalist return to his folksy ways, and back into the hearts of all those who have grown tired of the man and his dumpy lookin' sneakers. Until next time, keep kickin' everyone. Take care. 

(Bob Dylan trapped in a pare of sneakers, after receiving a hexing from a witch)